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Products for Lazy People

As a society, we have become so used to convenience that we can’t live without it anymore. I’m no different. When my phone runs out of batteries in the middle of the day, I feel like I’m missing a limb. I have completely embraced technology and really have come to rely on it. But even I, with my ADD tendencies typical of my generation, have a line that is not to be crossed. Sometimes I look at a product and say to myself, “if I use this, it will be admitting that I’m a complete wuss who is incapable of doing anything for myself.”

Today, I bring you some of those products. These are not your standard “crazy products for lazy people” that nobody actually uses which you’ve likely seen before (things like the rotating fork to help you eat spaghetti). These are things I’ve come across that apparently people do actually use.

Liftmaster garage door opener with battery backup

I suppose there’s nothing inherently wrong about a garage door opener. If you park your car in your garage every day, I can see how it would be a hassle to have to get out of your car, open the garage, and get back in your car every single day. But this commercial is selling you on a very specific scenario: when it’s raining and the power is out. Their garage door opener has battery backup so it will continue to work through a power outage, saving you from the torment of getting wet. Come on, people! Unless you live in an area where there are severe storms that knock out your power every week (and if you do, why don’t you have a generator?), just get out of the frigging car and spend thirty seconds in the rain to open your garage door manually. Are we really so lazy that we can’t handle the occasional rainy inconvenience?

packaged lemon/orange zest

Lemon Zest

A couple months ago I was at the grocery store check-out. As the cashier was ringing up my items, a guy walked up to him and asked him where he could find lemon zest. The cashier was as confused as I was. “Why don’t you just buy a lemon and zest it?” The cashier asked. The guy said no, he wanted a bottle of lemon zest. The cashier had to call over another employee to find out if such a thing even existed. Apparently it does! The employee led the man into the grocery store to get his bottle of lemon zest. For a mere $53.24, you could have 15 ounces of lemon zest! That’s $3.55/oz. Or you could buy lemons for, say, $0.50 a piece, and zest them yourself. Do you know how long it takes to zest a lemon? Not very long. It’s pretty much the easiest thing you can do in a kitchen. If you’re willing to pay a premium to have someone else zest your lemons for you, you need to re-prioritize your life.

the balance ball chair

Balance Ball Chair

Remember a couple years ago when everyone jumped onto the exercise ball as a chair craze? The idea was that sitting on an exercise ball required you to engage your back and abdominal muscles to maintain balance, giving you better posture and keeping your muscles from shriveling away due to lack of use. But man, all that balancing was just so hard. Fear not, lazy people striving to not be lazy! Now you can have your “I’m not lazy” chair in it’s new lazy-friendly form! The entire point of using an exercise ball as a chair is that it requires you to actually do some work. By putting legs and a back on it, you are completely eliminating its purpose! If you’re going to sit on an exercise ball with legs and a back, stop fooling yourself that you’re doing anything for your posture and sit in a regular chair, ok?

automatic cat toy

Automatic Cat Toy

When you bring a pet home, you’re taking on a big responsibility. Not only do you have to feed and clean up after your pet, you also have to make sure he gets plenty of exercise and stimulation. Sometimes people don’t realize how much work they’re really signing up for. Heaven forbid you actually have to play with your cat! Well worry not, those of you who don’t have time to swing around a feather on a string. Now you can turn on your motorized string toy and relax on the couch while your cat enjoys his play time. There are plenty of products to keep your cat occupied while you’re at work so he doesn’t tear up your house, if that’s what you’re worried about. Things like scratching posts, cat nip filled toys, and flies. You don’t need a cat toy that replaces interactive play time. You wanted a cat, so play with it!

There is an endless supply of useless products for lazy people you come across on a day-to-day basis. What others have you seen?

20 Responses to Products for Lazy People

  1. Good picks. There will always be products for lazy people because the market is so large. If there wasn’t a market, companies wouldn’t make them. It just goes to show where our society is headed.

  2. Some of those are actually cute.

    In regard to the garage door opener I don’t think the door will open manually if the power is out. It is usually a security feature to prevent just anyone from opening it whenever they want, like a passerby or robber.

    • Gen Y Finance Journey

      How about walking in through the front door and opening the garage from the inside?

      • For many homes the garage is detached. Again, if you go into the garage through a regular door, either from the outside, or from within your home, as you suggest, opening a garage door manually that is attached to a power garage door opener is quite a struggle.

      • Gen Y Finance Journey

        Whoa, you’re telling me that if you install a garage door opener, you can no longer open it manually?! That sounds like a problem to me!

  3. Hmmm.. I kinda fancy my garage door opener and I’m not a lazy bloke at all. It saves me the time and besides I paid for the bloody thing when I bought the house, so it’s staying!! :-) Cheers!

    • Gen Y Finance Journey

      I figured that one would be contentious. :) I’ve never in my life had a garage door opener and I’ve fared just fine either parking in the driveway or getting out to open up the garage door manually. I just take particular issue with marketing it as a product that will keep you from having to get wet on the rare occasion that the power goes out.

  4. I didn’t even know they sold packaged lemon zest, gross! My parents just built a new garage and put in a garage door opener. It also is freezing cold in Maine 90% of the year, so I don’t blame them for wanting one. If I lived in Maine still I wouldn’t want to get out of my car in below zero weather to open the garage.

    • Gen Y Finance Journey

      I suppose I can understand if it’s freezing all the time, especially as you’re getting older. But if you’re young, strong, and healthy, that’s what heavy coats are for, right? :)

  5. Love my garage door opener! I’m sure our ancestors would have had many more on your list, things such as water running hot and cold into the house, central heat, etc.

    • Gen Y Finance Journey

      Oh there are tons of modern conveniences our ancestors would have scoffed at. I do have a line though, as there are plenty of modern conveniences that really do make our lives better, like running water. It’s the things that don’t really make a measurable difference in our quality of life that get to me.

  6. The balance ball chair is the best thing ever. That is what I would like for my birthday.

    • Gen Y Finance Journey

      I have one of the plain old balance balls at my office that I sit on every now and then, and it’s pretty nice. One of my coworkers has the legged/backed version and I just don’t see the point.

  7. next thing is the remote for tv cordless and cell phones they will be wired directly to your brain… lol

  8. I will admit this: I’ve never opened a garage door manually. Not once, in my entire life. They’ve always had automatic openers.

  9. That garage door opener kills me. Sure, I bet it’s nice, but it’s called a front door. I remember my grandparents garage door, it was manual. They would always have to get out and open it…I wonder what they’d think of this handy dandy invention.

    • Gen Y Finance Journey

      What kills me most about the commercial is the quick shot showing the car pulling up into the driveway where you can see that not only is the front door maybe 10 feet away, there’s a covered porch that’s about 2 feet from the driveway. Is this really a problem that needs to be solved?

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